So you like Dwight Howard, huh? How does an all-access pass into Superman’s world as he prepares to do damage during the NBA’s All-Star Weekend sound? And I mean, really, the Three Stripes is pulling all of the strings to provide paramount ongoing coverage. DH will constantly update the adidas Basketball YouTube profile and a Twitter account with his latest impressions, perceptions, and emotions regarding all that is holy in the hoops world this ASW. When DH yawns, you’ll catch him at it. Wanna know what Howard had for dinner? adidas has you covered! (Hopefully, they give the big guy time for bathroom breaks!) Hit the “Read More” below to peep Dwight’s antics and my hapless commentary.
I Got Your All-Star Invite: Dwight does it for the people! The ManChild of the East explains the introspective look into his trials, tribulations, and fun his fans will receive this All-Star Weekend.
Dunk Contest Hint: Dwight loves Doctor Julius? We’ll see if DH can run a clinic on his high-flyin’ colleagues this coming Saturday night. In the meantime, is that hutch mahogany?
Dunk Revealed?: Superman apparently has some dunks up his sleeve. Really though, who’s your interior decorator Dwight? If you’re doing that yourself, you’re spending way too much time watching that guy on Oprah…Yeah, alright, I’m watching him too! (Pause…)
LL Cool J a.k.a. “The Lip Licker”: Man, Dwight must’ve been bored at the hotel!
Prince of Zamunda: Still apathetic, Dwight resorts to age-old stereotypes. Peace out, I guess.
Enough!: Sometimes, actually always, I think the media are more expectant than my three year old half-brother on Christmas Brother. Let Santa deliver, I guarantee he delivers some Dr. J medicine and a Superman cape.
Aliases: Oh, not these impersonations again! I’m starting to miss Akeem, Prince of Zamundi!
Paging Stan Van Gundy: Dwight explains his latest get-up, a tailored attempt at looking just like his coach Stan Van Gundy. He’s got the voice already, but I’m eagerly anticipating the addition of a belly and mustache.
Directions: Oh, a man willing to look for directions. (My momdukes loves that!) And what women doesn’t love a “low five” every now and then?! I’m not sure if he’s available, so check his Myspace!
Artistic: Dwight effortlessly creates a mirage more beautiful than any Jackson Pollock. Someone save that; it’ll be worth millions some day.
10-4 Buddy: I’ve always imagined Tim Duncan to be some sort of bellyachin’ type of fellow. At least Dwight saves this sequence with some McDonald’s fries and a hilarious impersonation.
Pre-Game Speech: Fact: Growing up, I played basketball games by myself, pretending I was all five guys on one team. I’d set picks, pass to myself, and always win. What I’m saying is, Dwight, I know how you feel buddy!
Making Coach Proud: Hilarious. Stan Van stays unhappy and brings his crew together with thoughts of grandeur and rock solid fundamentals.
Valentine’s Day Delight: Ahh, yes, the idyllic present-day American Valentine’s Day. French Fries, microwaved sandwiches, and elevators.
Fine Dining With Dwight: Dwight’s feeling the effects of the recession with this meager meal of undercooked carrots and an overcooked mystery meat that might be frog legs, might be chicken…Who knows?
adidas TechFit: adidas TechFit is the brand’s latest advancement in under-uniform wear, and is probably the most advanced gear of its kind, ever. Really looking forward to trying it.
